You can’t brush your teeth…but….
….err….its okay to be naughty while flying.
Via Neil Gaiman’s blog, came across the Transport and Security Administration(TSA)’s final list of ‘permitted and prohibited items’ for flying that will save us from the terrorists (The Fine Print they forgot: this will not protect you from FAA’s violation of its own rules, or overworked control tower workers and pilots who cannot read compasses).
It starts of with a summary of liquid and gel products that will be allowed to "ensure the health and welfare of certain air travelers":
* Small amounts of Baby formula and breast milk if a baby or small child is traveling * Liquid prescription medicine with a name that matches the passenger’s ticket * Up to 5 oz. (148ml) of liquid or gel low blood sugar treatment * Up to 4 oz. of essential non-prescription liquid medications including saline solution, eye care products and KY jelly * Gel-filled bras and similar prostethics * Gel-filled wheelchair cushions * Life support and life sustaining liquids such as bone marrow, blood products, and transplant organs carried for medical reasons
Personal lubricants – Up to 4 oz. Yes Yes
(the ‘Yes’ refers to Carry-on and Checked-in luggages)
Meanwhile, toothpaste remains on the banned list.
So, just in case your cheked-in luggage gets misplaced – not an uncommon scenario – your dental hygine could take the proverbial hike, but you are saved in case you suddenly need a rectal exam or if you simply feel like fooling around 😉 .
Needless to say, this list also comes as a relief to some Mile-high Club aspirers.
UPDATE: Patrick Smith, a pilot who regularly writes on airplanes and air-travel related issues at Salon, has a couple of scathing takes on airline security in general and the cluelessness of TSA, here and here.
The specific changes have been drastic, and largely of two kinds: those practical and effective, and those irrational, wasteful and pointless. The first variety have taken place almost entirely out of view. Armored cockpits and explosives screening for checked luggage have been the most welcome and, frankly, the longest overdue implementations. The latter remains something of a work in progress, with a goal toward comprehensive scanning of all checked bags, as was introduced in Europe on the heels of terrorist bombings in the late 1980s. Until that time, partial scanning is better than none, and we are safer for the effort.
The same cannot be said, unfortunately, for the madness going on in plain view on concourses all over America. After enduring pointless pat-downs and the senseless confiscation of pointy objects for more than four years, passengers now face the prohibition of liquids, gels and even cosmetics.
(If you are not a Salon.com subscriber, you have to subject yourself to a mindless ad for a few moments before accessing the whole article).